Case Studies

We have included some case studies from our own foster carers to talk about their experiences.

Pauline and George

Pauline and George have been foster carers with Tower Hamlets for nearly 3 years, they currently look after children from the age of 2 -12.

Having been in care herself as a young woman, Pauline believes that being fostered is better than being in a residential home. "At first I thought that coming from a broken family may count against me, that I'd come from a troubled life, and that they might think - how can I educate these children when I couldn't educate myself?"

"Our supervising social worker gives a lot of support, and if there are any concerns at all, we know we can just get on the phone and get advice. They also make sure you have all the equipment you need for the children - and an allowance. By not rushing and trying to be too helpful, or friendly, the children feel at ease. Check they're okay, reassure them, show them their room, introduce them to the pets, and they'll soon feel comfortable."

"As long as the parent realises that the child is happy, and that they are being looked after, they are usually fine. Sometimes the parent can be reserved, but when you work with them and the days go by, you start to work as a good team. When kids see you getting on with their parents it reassures them and they realise that they needn't worry."

Jack and Frances

Jack and Frances have been fostering for 9 years and look after teenagers. Having been involved in youth work and feeling that they had something to offer young people, a Tower Hamlets campaign prompted them to enquire about fostering, and since that time they've fostered seventeen young people. "Sometimes you get lots of in-depth information about the kids you're getting, and sometimes you get none, so you don't know what's behind them getting upset or having a tantrum."

"We did a 14 week training course, and we still get great support and advice, such as what new drugs are available on the street, and how to monitor the child's behaviour."

"We make the foster children aware of our house rules, and set the boundaries which they always try to push! It's a lot of hard work, but just as much fun. From the very second you start helping, you feel rewarded. If you find that you've achieved something with them, it's a real buzz."

Phyllis

Phyllis is a single black African Caribbean mother who has been fostering for 5 years and looks after kids between the ages of 0-10. When her role as a child minder was coming to an end, her supervising social worker said that she'd make a good foster carer, and within a month of filling in forms the process was underway. "At first I wondered why Tower Hamlets needed to know so much about my life, and I thought my age and being a single parent wouldn't go down too well, but through discussions and training I realised I needn't have worried."

"It was scary at first, but incredibly exciting – I decorated everything to get things ready for my first child."

"While it does hurt to see a child go, and while you do go through a type of grief, there are processes you must go through, such as visits with the child within a few days, which helps to untie some of those bonds. It's important that you take time out for yourself, because you get so caught up in things."

"From taking a child to a zoo, or even something like giving them fruit for the first time, being part of a child's new experiences is a wonderful feeling."

Ruksha

Ruksha is a single parent who has been fostering for 8 years and looks after school age children. After a nervous start thanks to her fears of being unskilled, the training courses and support from Tower Hamlets made her more comfortable with the prospect of fostering.

"At first I couldn't sleep at night, and I'd be checking in on the children constantly. When you foster, you're part of a team looking after the children along with doctors, social services, and their own family."

Jonathan

Jonathan is a single gay foster carer who has been fostering with Tower Hamlets for over 5 years, and looks after children from 5 - 17 years. Jonathan felt the natural urge to be a parent, and didn't think his sexuality should deprive him of this. "From the outset I wanted to know if being gay was going to be an issue, but after discussions and consultations, everyone was happy. I was impressed with how responsive and professional Tower Hamlets were." He found them very forthcoming with supportive, particularly the youth psychiatric services.

"Life changed dramatically when the child came along. I gave up everything for about two years, and while I could never guarantee how things would be, I now have the satisfaction of seeing the development of a 12 year old with issues into a lovely young man."

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